Full Swing of Things
We are almost done with week 4 of the school year and I have yet to feel that I have really fallen into the swing of things. Lesson planning, pacing of lessons, what to do in planning periods--I have that all figured out. The finding time to go to the bathroom, what to do when a child unexpectedly starts crying, and finding time to grade all the student work--I definitely do not have that figured out! I feel like I'm in between walking on air and drowning.
And just as I was getting comfortable with the students, they got comfortable with me which means they have begun to test their boundaries. I have classes that were absolute angels, highlights of my week, a week ago and then this week I was trying anything and everything to keep myself from being overthrown. As someone who jokes that they received their father's temper, trying to remain calm the first time a students hits a red button issue, was extremely difficult. I also lack a poker face, which makes it that much harder for me to conceal my hurt or anger.
Every waking moment is spent doing something for school or thinking about school and then even when I'm asleep I'm pretty sure I dream about lesson plans and classroom management ideas. This job has consumed my life in the best and worst way.
My emotions are so tied to these children of whom I've only had in my classroom four times. I get so excited when they are having a blast with a warm-up activity. I feel so lucky and loved when they stop in the hall to wave or give me a hug. And I hurt for them and for me when I see written on papers or hear mumbled under their breath "I hate music class."
And just as I was getting comfortable with the students, they got comfortable with me which means they have begun to test their boundaries. I have classes that were absolute angels, highlights of my week, a week ago and then this week I was trying anything and everything to keep myself from being overthrown. As someone who jokes that they received their father's temper, trying to remain calm the first time a students hits a red button issue, was extremely difficult. I also lack a poker face, which makes it that much harder for me to conceal my hurt or anger.
Every waking moment is spent doing something for school or thinking about school and then even when I'm asleep I'm pretty sure I dream about lesson plans and classroom management ideas. This job has consumed my life in the best and worst way.
My emotions are so tied to these children of whom I've only had in my classroom four times. I get so excited when they are having a blast with a warm-up activity. I feel so lucky and loved when they stop in the hall to wave or give me a hug. And I hurt for them and for me when I see written on papers or hear mumbled under their breath "I hate music class."
"Could they really hate my class already?"
"It has to be because of their past experiences."
"What would make a child hate music class?"
" What can I do to change that for them?"
I guess in saying all this, I hope that I wouldn't have become so attached to the schools and the students this quickly, even with the bad stuff, if I weren't meant to be here at this moment.
#newteachermusings?
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